Life is full of them, changes. I don't mind a change or two. In fact, I elicit change sometimes just to shake things up a bit but only the kind that can be changed back in a matter of a few weeks or even months. It's the times when the change is permanent that I get a little wound up. By my way of thinking, if I am not controlling how it's happening then it just shouldn't be. Period. But God always works in a way contrary to my ideals. And his kind of change truly changes me.
This week I am packing my house. There are probably 50 boxes in the garage already (30 of which contain books). Now, I am deciding what things can be lived without for the next week and a half. That means that the 45 coffee mugs I simply CANNOT part with are now safely tucked away leaving roughly 5 to get us through the next few mornings. The decorative plates with a 1/4" thick layer of grime came down and were carefully wrapped without cleaning them first. Not sure why there was a ceramic eye glasses holder taking up any amount of space in my cabinet but it was there. That one...Goodwill. For every article I pack it seems there are 10 more. At times all I can think is, "Oh man, this is just embarrassing! What is my mom going to think when she sees how much junk I have and that I haven't cleaned the grout behind my utensil container since...EVER!?!"
It would be so much easier if things just stayed the same. Though I suppose no one ever grows when they do.
With so much happening out of my control, the temptation is to panic. But God has so graciously replaced that with peace and even excitement. Taking these huge leaps of faith have been a profound object lesson in trusting God in all things. And therein lies the blessing. Whenever the enormity of leaving our home of 11 years or the vulnerability of church planting or the sheer terror of starting nursing school - all at the same time - begins to overwhelm, I think of Isaiah 43 and "fear not for my God has redeemed me and I am his. When I pass through the waters he is with me and through the rivers they will not overwhelm me; when I walk through fire I will not be burned and the flame will not consume me. For He is the LORD my God, the Holy one of Israel, my Savior."
Are you walking through a season of change? Maybe you are having to develop a new normal because of all that is happening in your life right now. If so, Jesus cares about your weary heart and delights to be your source of strength. Let him lead you to the Rock that is higher than you and take refuge there.
